My Beloved – Contemplation of Honor

My Beloved,

Is it passing your belief that God led me to cross the ocean at such a young age, to expose me to the love and art of sound that you know so well?
Was it only the angel’s clumsy coincidence that I swim through turbulence, only to immerse in books and stories that equal my conversation with you now?
Even recently, do you overlook the orchestrating of the Great Conductor, who removed things that served as my distraction, only so I could focus on our own wandering thoughts?
Have I come so far, to be devoured for one weekend and be delayed in time?

Would I wait, Beloved, until your work produces enough satisfactory paperwork for you to file? Would you wait, Beloved, until I am equipped to make the same drive you do?
All the while, are we busying ourselves with sensibility, and sacrificing the life that is “ours?”

How much longer do we have?
How many points do we each need to earn?
How much of each other’s cares must we take seriously, before we act?
Have I already made the promise and not told you?
Am I so foolish or faithful to do so?

What is Honor to me, Beloved? Or status? Or title?
Haven’t I grown beyond that?
Haven’t I grown to fill it?
What are presents and rings, flowers and chocolates, that show me my importance?
Would it be knowing you breathe deeply in the night and your knowing that I wake slowly in the morning?

What have I to study but righteousness?
What have I to sing but patience?
What have I to plant but devotion?
What have I to write but love?
What have I to listen to but your promise?

You choose how to honor me.

Lovingly,
M

[Originally written 7, September 2009]

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DOMESTIC

Frantic
Lost my keys

Panties in the corner
On the dresser
4am, car 2 blocks away
Fu**, I’m stressin’
Garage before sunrise
Elevator tiptoe
Oh, good, he’s still sleepin’

Dawn in July
Did it again
Explanation –> #3/ He’ll believe me
“I was with Jamie..
Her car broke down
My cell phone died..”
Battery? Oh. BAttery.

6 years
2 bedrooms
Almost bills and own cell phones
Now you wanna interrogate
what time I get home?

Look, I’m late for work
I’ll see you later, whatchu want for dinner?
Huh?
You’ll be late tonight?
like, 9?
oh. Right.
Later.